Torah · ParashaTaking ResponsibilityRabbi Uri Nahum · November 10, 2026 · Toldot · תולדות · Weekly Divrei Torah-15Play+30Position0:00—Save⌄ShareTranscript0:00Hi everyone, and welcome to Midrash Ohr Moed, our weekly divrei Torah.0:04This week's parasha is Parashat Toldot.0:06We're recording this today on the first day of Rosh Chodesh Kislev.0:10To all be blessed, bezrat Hashem, with a month full of Torah, hatzlacha, and0:16shemirah for us and all Klal Yisrael and our families,0:18bezrat Hashem. So, in the beginning of the parasha, we are learning about the birth of the new generation,0:24the generation which will set the course of the rest of Jewish history, world history,0:31Esav and0:32Yaakov. And when they're born, the pasuk tells us, when they get to the age of0:37vayigdelu, yud-gimmel, when they get already to the age of bar mitzvah, already the two children, the twins,0:44already each one took their path.0:46And the pasuk says,0:51Vayehi Esav ish yodea tzayid, ish sadeh. Esav was a man who knew how to hunt;0:53he was a man of the field.0:54VeYaakov ish tam yoshev ohalim. And Yaakov, this is a simple person, and he used to sit in the tent.1:01Clearly contrasting the two paths of the two boys.1:06Question number one is, it says that Yaakov was an ish tam yoshev ohalim.1:10Yoshev ohalim, I understand;1:11he sat in the tents and1:13Chazal tell us he sat and learned Torah.1:14What does it have to say1:16ish tam? It seems like ish tam as opposed to what?1:20So the answer to that is very simple,1:22is ish tam as opposed to the description by Esav.1:27Esav also had two descriptions.1:30He was1:33ish yodea tzayid, ish sadeh. He was a man of the field.1:34He did not sit in the beit midrash.1:37He was a man also who was1:40yodea tzayid. He knew how to hunt.1:43Keep that in mind.1:44That's a very important description. Because if I would say he was a man of the field,1:49so what do I care if he knew how to hunt or not?1:51He knew how to hunt.1:52Also, what do I care if he is in the field?1:55So the way to understand Esav is from1:59Yaakov. Esav was in the field;2:01Yaakov was the opposite.2:02He was in the tent.2:04Esav was2:06yodea tzayid; Yaakov was2:07ish tam. We see we have to understand what that means a little bit more.2:10My real question is on the next part:2:14Vaye'ehav Yitzchak et Esav ki tzayid befiv. We know the traits of Esav.2:18He was a hunter, and it seems that's why Yitzchak liked him.2:24Virivkah ohevet et Yaakov, and Rivkah loved2:28Yaakov. Why did Rivkah love2:30Yaakov? It seems that she didn't like Esav.2:33Now, it doesn't mean that Yitzchak did not like2:37Yaakov, maybe,2:38but in the pasuk it's clear that Yitzchak had a reason why he liked Esav.2:46Why did Yitzchak like Esav?2:49Ki tzayid befiv, because of the hunting.2:52And if there was no such a reason, it didn't seem like there was something to like him.2:56And Rivkah didn't need a reason.2:59Rivkah just loved3:01Yaakov. Why did Rivkah just love3:02Yaakov? It means she didn't have a reason,3:04so if she didn't have a reason, she should also love her other son, Esav.3:08But we see from the end of the3:11parashah, when Rivkah found out that Yitzchak would be giving the blessing to Esav,3:17what did Rivkah do?3:18She went and gave the information to Yaakov, and she pushed him against his will.3:24She almost forced him to take that3:27berachah. Seems like Rivkah wasn't too fond of Esav,3:32and the question is why.3:33So the answer to this, rabotai, it's in the3:35pesukim, and this is what we just read right now.3:40Esav was a hunter.3:43So what's the problem with a hunter?3:44Says Rav Shimshon Raphael Hirsch,3:47he says that a tzayad, a hunter, is a person who is a liar.3:53He's a deceiver.3:54Because a hunter pretends that he likes the animal.3:59He gives it food.4:00He puts out peanut butter for the mice,4:05or for the,4:07yeah, for that squirrel. I don't know who eats peanut butter,4:08but cheese for the mice that I remember from cartoons,4:10right? He puts out all different types of food for the animal,4:15the worm for the fish.4:16And the fish says, Who is this kind and benevolent person that's giving me a worm?4:22The mice say, Who is this kind, benevolent person that gives me a piece of cheese?4:26And the tzayad stands there happy, standing from aside, pretending to give them food.4:32But the moment they come close enough that he has them, then the food, the kindness that looks so kind,4:40turns its ugly face and becomes a hunter.4:43He grabs them and he takes them and he kills them.4:45A hunter, on the outside, portrays himself as someone who he's really not.4:51He's only doing it to get what he wants from you.4:54He couldn't care less about you.4:56He has his own agenda.4:58This is why Chazal tell us that Esav was really a ramai.5:00He's a liar.5:02He was a liar.5:03He's a person who put on a fake show.5:05He wanted his father pretending to be a tzaddik.5:07That's what a hunter does.5:09A hunter pretends he's someone that he's really not.5:12So we come back now and we understand the connection,5:15the5:19pesukim. Vayahav Esav... et Esav... The simple and the way Chazal explain it fits very well.5:23Why did Yitzchak love5:26Esav? It wasn't something intrinsic about5:29Esav. It was the fact that he was a hunter.5:31Whether you want to say in the simple meaning because he hunted, he brought food to his father,5:34or as Chazal tell us, because he tricked his father by telling him constantly,5:39Abba, how do we take off ma'aser from5:42salt? How do we take off salt? It's Yitzchak what's tricked by Esav on the simple level.5:48But Rivka was not5:50tricked. Rivka, who grew up in the house of Betuel in Laban and in the city of Aram,5:55which is known as5:58Aramia and Ramaim, she knew exactly how to tell a liar,5:59and she knew who Esav really was.6:03And as a result, she loved Yaakov; she did not love6:08Esav. Why? Because Esav was a liar.6:10So you might say, you know, you're his mother.6:14Give him a chance.6:16Give him a6:17chance. People lie, you know, kids lie.6:19So Esav was a liar from the age of 13.6:23Why? Why push him away?6:25Why not show him love also?6:27He's a liar. Okay, so show him love,6:29show him support a little bit.6:30Why only show support to the person who is6:33ish tam? So, rabotai, there's a very fundamental idea that I'm about to say, and it's very, very important.6:39Why do people lie?6:41You know why people lie?6:42It's because they want to escape responsibility.6:46Think about it.6:47Most people will lie,6:48even good people, we find this a little bit in the Gemara,6:50is when they're caught doing something wrong.6:53For example, we find in two weeks ago, it's6:56Parashah, Sarah Imenu laughed.6:58And right that moment, Hashem notifies7:00Avraham, Why is Sarah laughing?7:03So Avraham confronts Sarah and says,7:05Why did you laugh?7:05She says, Lo. She says, No, I didn't laugh.7:08Sarah Imenu, the great7:09tzaddeket. Yeah, when people are confronted with something right in their face,7:12so they're not on the level maybe right away to jump into it and take responsibility,7:19so they escape responsibility.7:20No, no, it wasn't me.7:22Okay, so we'll go back now to our own children,7:24whether it's in the house or in the classroom, if you're a rabbi.7:28And what happens when the kid does something wrong?7:30Stop talking.7:30It wasn't me.7:31Stop.7:32It wasn't me.7:33Who made the mess in the kitchen?7:34It wasn't me.7:36Aha. Okay, who spilled the things on the floor?7:38It wasn't me.7:38Why are your hands all wet?7:40Right?7:41This is called being caught7:44red-handed. This is a simple reason why we lie.7:47Let's not talk about kids. Let's talk about us for a second.7:49You get pulled over.7:51You were speeding.7:52No, I wasn't.7:53What are you talking about?7:54You just ran through a red.7:56No, I didn't.7:58Right?7:58Or we try to give a...8:00But basically, the reason why we lie is to really avoid responsibility. Because when I say, Yes,8:06I did go through a red light, I'm acknowledging that I did something wrong, and therefore I deserve the ticket.8:11I think that if I lie to you, you're going to believe me, and therefore I won't be held responsible.8:16So in essence, lying is running away from responsibility.8:19Now, if we happen to do this once in a while when we're caught red-handed, okay, listen,8:25it's understandable. People are not on such a high level, like we see even great people.8:30But when you live your life like this, when your whole life is about a lie,8:35that means you're running away from responsibility your whole entire life.8:39Such a person who doesn't have, who doesn't know how to take responsibility,8:43is not somebody you can work with, because they'll always run away from their responsibilities.8:48This is the source of deadbeat dads and deadbeat mothers and then people who just,8:54they do things in life and they don't know how to take responsibility for it.8:58They walk around lying not just in words, but in their actions as well.9:04You did something in life, take responsibility.9:07Step up. Fix it, whatever it is.9:11Running away from responsibility, says the Ravka, is not somebody you can work with.9:18The basic of an adult in halacha is when they turn bar mitzvah. What makes a person bar mitzvah?9:23Okay, what happens when the guy turns a certain age? And the answer is, you're now the son of mitzvot,9:28bat mitzvah, you're the daughter of mitzvot. What this means is you're now held responsible9:33to do whatever it is, to do mitzvot and everything else.9:38Responsibility is the foundation of growth, or of life really in this world.9:44A person who runs away from responsibility is not a person that you can work with.9:49It's not a person you could necessarily give a chance,9:51because you'll never know if he's really gonna, you know, take the chance, take the opportunity.9:57You know, I mean, people say, Just give me a chance. If the guy is a liar, why would you give him a second chance?10:01So Rivka saw this by her son Esav.10:06He's a tzayad, he's a hunter. He's fooling his father. Why is he doing that?10:11Why is he not taking responsibility? Because if you don't take responsibility, you can't work with10:15him. And therefore she said, Let me focus on my son Yaakov.10:19He's an ish tam. He may not be as sharp as Esav, but you know what? He's an ish tam. I could work with him.10:26He's ready to take responsibility. That's the lesson,10:30my friends. Take responsibility for your actions. Yes, it's gonna come with consequences.10:34If you did something wrong, you step up and say, I did something wrong.10:37It comes with, you know, whatever it is, consequences.10:41But that's what taking responsibility is. Responsibility is in two ways, in two areas:10:45in that step up and do what you have to do,10:49and number two is, and when you mess up, stand up and say, It's my fault,10:53and take responsibility and go through the consequences.10:56Shabbat shalom.